I Always Knew I Wanted To Be A Mom… Someday

Good morning and happy Monday! I hope all of the mothers out there had a very nice Mother’s Day!

Since we celebrated Mother’s Day just yesterday, I thought it was the perfect time to share some of the special moments in my life that really confirmed my desire to be a mother.

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I always knew I wanted to be a mom… someday. I wasn’t really a “kid person,” so becoming a parent just wasn’t a priority for me. When Mal and I got married, it was always part of our plan, but, again, someday. We got married kind of young (we were the first of our friends), so we weren’t in any rush. We were having a lot of fun, just the two of us, so the kid thing wasn’t a topic of conversation during the first few years of marriage. And, truthfully, I think we both needed to warm up to the idea. Neither of us had any experience with babies, so we were a bit clueless about what it meant to be parents. We knew we wanted children (someday), so we just trusted we’d know when the time was right. For me, there were specific instances over the years that truly confirmed my desire to become a mother. Some might seem trivial, but, at the time, they were quite significant and ultimately encouraged us to start the family we have today.

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Feeling the urge to hold a baby (June 2012) – I was never one of those people who thought babies were cute or wanted to snuggle someone else’s newborn, so actually wanting to hold a baby was a big deal for me””and I remember the exact moment. It was at BlogHer Food, and Amie invited a small group of bloggers to her hotel room for apps and drinks before one of the evening events. Another food blogger brought her baby along, and I just thought he was the most adorable thing. I barely knew her, so I didn’t ask to hold him, but I remember being so surprised that I wanted to.

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Realizing I didn’t want to be alone with Mal on Christmas morning (July 2012) – Ok, that might seem a little strange, but let me explain. Mal and I drove to update New York to run the Boilermaker 15K with my friend Matt and his family. We spent the weekend at his parents’ house along with his two siblings, their significant others, and two of his cousins””all of whom were running the race the next day. Needless to say, getting ourselves to the starting line on the morning of the race was a bit hectic, hilarious, and wonderful all at the same time. On the drive home from New York, Mal and I started talking about how much we enjoyed being part of Matt’s annual family tradition of running the Boilermaker together. Our conversation eventually spiraled to family and how we wanted our own to celebrate these types of traditions. Basically, we didn’t want to spend Christmas alone/without kids, so we talked about starting a family.

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My sister telling me she was pregnant (September 2012) – Before my sister told me she was pregnant, I knew I wanted to have kids around the same time since we were so close with our cousins growing up. Some of our BEST childhood memories include (doing ridiculous things with) them, so I wanted our children to have the same experience. When my sister told me she was pregnant, Mal and I started talking about what “someday” meant. We realized there were still some things we wanted to do before starting a family, including travel, so we traveled our hearts out: Black Butte Ranch, San Juan Island, Oahu, Ireland, Twin Farms, Cabo, New York City, Savannah, and Burlington.

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Being so sick on the WODs & Paleo Retreat (August 2013) – Prior to going to Cabo for the WODs & Paleo Retreat, I was battling a terrible UC flare. Prednisone kept me healthy-ish, but I had taken the drug for so long, I became steroid-dependent (i.e. lots of terrible side effects) and my GI doctor was encouraging me to try Remicade. The trip to Cabo made my symptoms quite a bit worse, so Mal and I agreed it was time to start trying to have a baby since I wasn’t getting any healthier (or younger) and Remicade totally freaked me out. (Both my GI doctor and OB/GYN said Remicade was safe while pregnant, but I wasn’t comfortable with the idea.) I ended up getting pregnant the very next month and, to our surprise, all of my UC symptoms went away for the majority of my pregnancy. Nine months later, we welcomed sweet baby Quinn into our lives and the rest is history!

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Question of the Day

Moms: Was there a specific moment (s) that confirmed that you wanted to be a mother?

31 Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful post. Motherhood seems to fit you so well! I always knew I wanted kids, I just didn’t know when. It wasn’t until I was told I couldn’t have them that I really wanted to start trying, of course! Thank god for IVF because I had a beautiful baby girl last August and hope to have many more.

  2. Happy Mother’s Day! I was the same way, but when my husband looked at me one day (after several years of marriage and conversations) and told me he wanted to share the joy of a family with me, that was it. We welcomed our son less than a year later!

  3. Happy Mother’s Day! It’s always comforting to hear stories about other couples who were never “kid” people. I have a very…disconnected feeling about wanting to be a mom. I don’t mean that to be negative. I’m just one of those that would be okay with or without ever having kids. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant, but I never had a “defining moment.” We were talking more about trying for a baby this May because 1.) there’s never really a “right” time and 2.) I know everything is different when you have your own kid vs. having to deal with other people’s kids and my hesitation was based on being around *those* kids 😛 I didn’t know how jacked up my system would be from being on birth control for the last nine years so we weren’t really not trying and I got pregnant in October. Up until February I still didn’t have the urge to hold anyone else’s baby. They made me nervous…mostly because parenting styles differ so greatly and I didn’t want to to anything to offend a seasoned mom when I haven’t even popped out my first. Babies would normally cry because they could sense my nervousness of having something so fragile in my arms. I held that baby in February (I’ve held two since, lol), and even managed to quiet him and rock him to sleep. That made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I’ll be an okay mom after not really ever feeling that maternal instinct before, and it makes me excited to meet my little guy in a few weeks 🙂

    1. @Amanda: I had a very disconnected feeling in my pregnancy too! And even after I had my twins I felt simultaneously petrified and kinda in love with these creatures who needed a lot combined with the fright of SIDS and other things you can and can’t control. At first I felt a little disconnected and scared of them but I warmed up quickly, that’s for sure!
      Having your own is completely different than interacting with other people’s babies. Yours might cry, but they way he will cuddle into you for comfort will be amazing, I promise!

    2. @Amanda:
      It’s so completely different with your own! I’m a former teacher and total kid lover and my own child is so much easier for ME to deal with (although she may make other people crazy?) and I have infinitely more patience, understanding, and compassion for her. Your own child is nothing like other people’s kiddos! You will find your own way to be the best mom to your baby!

  4. This sounds exactly like my story! Hubby and I got married when I was 21, and we knew we wanted kids “someday” but we were not baby people. I set a random time frame of being 26, and 26 came and went without us trying. We were having so much fun traveling and just being together the two of us. Honestly I think age is what made us finally decide. I was 28 when I got pregnant, my husband was 30, so we knew if we were going to do this we wanted to do it while we were still relatively young. I got pregnant our second month of trying and now I can’t imagine life without my toddler!

  5. I was much like you, I thought I wanted kids at some point, but was never the one wanting to hold/play with others kids, etc. It didn’t become “real” for me until I went through some medical issues that the doctors thought may be genetic and/or make pregnancy dangerous. I was suddenly devastated, which was an unexpected feeling. It took over a year of testing, but I was cleared of any major genetic issues. I have one small “defect” that requires periodic ultrasounds to make sure I’m not developing a cardiac aneurysm, but so far my heart is healthy, and last fall they cleared me for pregnancy. Now we’re just playing the waiting game, hoping for good news any time 🙂

  6. Ever since I was a little girl I knew I’d want to be a Mom someday. To me, it just seemed like a stage in life that I hoped I would experience. (I had a fear of never being able to experience it) So when my husband and I got married in our early 30’s I knew our next step was to start our family, and we did! Now we have a fun loving 18 month old on our hands, love him to pieces!

  7. We were kind of the same as you in that we didn’t want kids right away. It’s funny because when we got married I knew I wanted kids eventually and was honestly just hoping that by our 2 year anniversary I’d be ready. (I didn’t want to start having kids too late). Turns out that I got the baby bug before our 2 year anniversary and got pregnant quickly. Now we have an 18 month old goofy little girl who’s my favorite person ever. 🙂

  8. Tina, I loved this post! I’m getting married this December, and we’re both so excited to start our family after a year or two or five of traveling and having fun being “DINKS”. One of my best friends just had her first baby, and I can’t wait for the moment my fiance and I decide we’re ready to start trying 🙂

  9. This is so thoughtful. My husband and I had been married for 5 years before we started a family. I knew I wanted kids, but never knew “when” that would be. Then one day I got baby fever. It happened almost overnight! And I was 110% ready to start a family. It’s funny how that happens.

  10. I love this so much. I’ve definitely never been a super kid person (but like you, didn’t have babies around growing up or anything, so find myself virtually clueless). Now that we’re engaged, it’s still “someday” but I find the “someday” urge growing stronger, which I guess is a confirmation too. 🙂

  11. Too personal? It’s okay if you don’t answer…will you have a second? I have two and wish I had three but am happy and blessed with two amazing little girls.

    1. Hi Tina!

      Thanks for sharing this post! I am married and my husband and I are totally in the same boat as you and Mal were; not in a hurry to have a family but know we want one.. someday! Well, I can tell you as I am reading through your post and agreeing with every one of your points that this has confirmed to me that we are definitely ready! Thanks again for sharing 🙂

  12. When did I know I wanted to be a mom? It was probably during my pregnancy at some point. See, my awesome son wasn’t planned and was an incredible shock to my husband and I. So while I love him very very much – I never knew until he was here that I wanted to be his mom. This blog post is so touching, and I leave this comment here just in case anyone who is pregnant and not so sure about it is reading. You will want to be your baby’s mom – it might just take a while.

  13. Thanks for sharing this. As a newlywed, this was really sweet and really helpful to read. We don’t have a time frame in mind right now, but definitely one day. 🙂

  14. I can relate to this so much! Wanting to be a mom was like getting tickled by a feather when sleeping…I didn’t realize what was happening at first, but then it hit me! I was also dealing with health issues, and as I addressed those, my body started to kick into baby making mode. The final aha came, though, when I realized when I wanted to name my little baby. I was taking a shower and the name popped into my head. Almost exactly a year to the day later, she was born! I have a June 2014 baby too

  15. Umm…does when the stick had a plus sign on it count as a specific moment? Either way…it was one of the best moments of my life! It was Christmas Eve which made it all the more special…kids are the best!

  16. I am so glad for this post. My husband and I are both 31 and have been married for 5 years. We have been having the baby dilemma for almost 2 years now. Sometimes we feel that we want a family but most of the time we are perfectly happy with our life. Normally what happens is we will be out and see “that kid” and the baby bubble will pop. I have never been one to want to hold a baby. They are cute and everything but I don’t need to hold them. We would be happy with or without kids but are not sure which life we want. We love seeing all the “happy” moments parent shave with their children but are not sure about all the other moments. It doesn’t help that I am an only child and my parents only chance to be grand parents as well. No pressure or anything!

  17. I am so glad for this post. My husband and I are both 31 and have been married for 5 years. We have been having the baby dilemma for almost 2 years now. Sometimes we feel that we want a family but most of the time we are perfectly happy with our life. Normally what happens is we will be out and see “that kid” and the baby bubble will pop. I have never been one to want to hold a baby. They are cute and everything but I don’t need to hold them. We would be happy with or without kids but are not sure which life we want. We love seeing all the “happy” moments parent shave with their children but are not sure about all the other moments. It doesn’t help that I am an only child and my parents only chance to be grand parents as well. No pressure or anything.

  18. I can totally relate to this post. I still remember the time I actually wanted to hold a baby (and didn’t want to give it back!). Until then I always thought I wanted kids but was beginning to wonder if I actually really wanted them.
    Like you guys, my husband and I also wanted to travel before having a family so we actually quit our jobs and traveled the world for the last two years.
    Great post 🙂

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