Everything I Want I Already Have

Mastermind Weekend 1/16

Hey there!

I'm Tina

I’m the owner of Carrots ‘N’ Cake as well as a Certified Nutrition Coach and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner (FDN-P). I use macros and functional nutrition to help women find balance within their diets while achieving their body composition goals.

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The other day, I read an article in Self magazine (July 2010) that quoted this Latin phrase: omnia quae cupio iam habeo. It means: everything I want I already have. Once I finished reading the story, I started to think about my life, both past and present.

If you’re a long-time reader of Carrots ‘N’ Cake, you may remember my life this time last year. I was miserable. Absolutely miserable. Basically, everything I wanted I didn’t have. Stress overwhelmed my life. I was depressed and cranky and I bickered with my husband almost everyday. Life actually sucked. But, instead of sitting back and suffering through it, I vowed to change my life. Of course, it didn’t happen overnight and it was not a piece of cake. (You can read all about it here.)

I worked very hard to create the life that I always wanted, and now everything I want I already have— including the most adorable pug ever! This is Murphy’s doggie Glamour Shots portrait! 😉

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A lot has changed in the past year, and I’ve learned that if I’m not happy with something in my life, I need to DO something about it. I can’t just sit back and watch. Plus, I had nothing to lose! I’m just glad to be in a different place in my life right now.

Breakfast

Mmm! I took Overnight Oats in a Jar (OOIAJ) to a whole new level this morning! Well, technically, it wasn’t OOIAJ at all. I used bulgur and oat bran instead, so I guess it was OB&OBIAJ?

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In the mix:

  • 1/4 cup bulgur
  • 1/4 cup oat bran
  • 3/4 cup Almond Breeze
  • 1 tbsp ground flaxseed meal
  • Dried cranberries

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The combination of bulgur and oat bran was fantastic– soft and smooth + firm and chewy. Bulgur usually takes awhile to cook, but letting it soak overnight made it nice and chewy. No cooking required!

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Feel Great Weight

In honor of my second wedding anniversary, I wrote about The Husband Diet for this week’s Feel Great Weight post: The Husband Diet: 4 Ways to Keep Your Marriage From Making You Fat.

Buffalo Tofu

The Buffalo Tofu mystery has been solved! The recipe I was searching for was a combination of Cynthia’s Buffalo Chicken Salad and Christie’s Buffalo Tofu Wings. I remember seeing both of these recipes and thinking they sounded delicious. And, thanks to everyone’s helpful comments on yesterday’s lunch post, I found a number of new Buffalo Tofu (and Tempeh) recipes to try out!

Chia Seed Coupon

I apologize for the confusion on yesterday’s chia seed coupon. If you still want to purchase them, the deal is on a 1-pound package of chia seeds. You save 18% when you enter the coupon code ChiaTastic at checkout.

Question of the Day

It’s sort of a deep question for this morning, but I’m curious to hear what everyone has to say. Feel free to weigh in!

Are you living the life that you always wanted? If not, what would you change?

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162 Comments

  1. This was probably my favorite post of yours yet 🙂 I read the comments and #9 beth- I understand completely where you are coming from. I feel like 25 is quarter life crisis. I reflected this past weekend on the last year of my life. This time last year I had recently broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years because I wasnt truly happy. Quit a job I hated- got a new one I love and now moving into my own apartment alone. All good things happen with a little patience, determination and time 🙂 Congratulations Tina! Without your health and happiness in life there isnt much left 🙂

  2. That’s a complicated question and I’m not really sure how to answer it. I feel like I have so much on the positive side and I’m really grateful for it: my house, my boyfriend of 4 yrs, my job, my pets…. Am I really happy? Sometimes. I feel like there must be something wrong because I still get angry for no reason and act irritable to my bf. I don’t know what needs to change and I’m not sure how to figure it out.

  3. For the most part, I love my life! There are still some things I am working towards, but I am happy that I am taking control to change the things I don’t like. When I get down I think about how there are so many others out there with so much less than me, and it puts my life in to perspective. I feel very blessed in my life, and I am grateful for all that I have.

  4. I really needed this post today (if the resume question didn’t tip you off!). I feel like most things are wonderful, but I’ve been putting up with my job for the last two years, always swearing that I’m going to leave. I go through phases where I really search for another but mostly I kind of hope something will come to me. Well that’s not going to happen! Things just went from bad to worse at work and I’ve realized that if I want something to change, I need to make it change!

  5. My life is not exactly what I want but it is on its way there. My job is great even with the stress. My dogs are fantastic and make my life a hoot. My marriage is getting better every day and I love my Hunni now more than the day I married him. And I have friends that love an care about me so much they call and talk to me just to see how I am. Sure there are other little things I would like to be different but the big stuff I love and are the way I want them.

  6. Tina your question made me think of this song today,

    I use to dream about the life I am living now and there’s no doubt I MADE IT 🙂

  7. Fantastic question! I love reading everyone’s responses–so empowering and inspirational!

    I try to live life like a quotes from two of my favorite Brian Andreas “Story People” prints (see storypeople.com): “Deciding everything is falling into place perfectly as long as you don’t get too picky about what you mean by place. Or perfectly.”
    Also,
    “If you hold on to the handle, she said, it’s easier to maintain the illusion of control. But it’s more fun if you just let the wind carry you.”

    Nothing in life is perfect and planned. But, we can live the life that makes us feel the most fulfilled. I never do anything for long that makes me unhappy. Life is just too damn short for that. Do we ever really know what are lives are supposed to be like? I contend that we only know what we don’t like, and life sorts the rest out for us 🙂

  8. This may sound silly, but I’m crying right now as I read this post. Because just three months ago, I was in the exact same place you were a year ago. I hated my job and I hated where I was living. It wasn’t the dream job I thought it would be, even though it paid well. And even though I was living in a fabulous city, which I had *thought* I always wanted, I really craved the same small-town existence I had always lived.

    Three months ago I took an extreme pay cut to take my true dream job. And I moved to a small town. And life is a little bit more difficult financially, and I am further away from my friends and family, but on the other hand, I’m not only a better version of me, I am finally getting back to who I really am. Because before I was a crying, snappish, depressed, sad, angry mess. And now I’m at peace.

    It’s just nice to read that other people have the same experiences sometimes, because over the past two years I had felt so alone sometimes. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂

  9. I’m really glad you’ve come such a long way 🙂 Looking back, this time last year was miserable for me, too! I was underweight, living with two roommates that I didn’t get a long with, felt isolated..all that jazz. Now I’m healthy, living roommateless (unless you count my adorable cat), am loving school, and have a new incredible man in my life. 😀 Last weekend, we went on a little vacation and we saw chalk art that said “Live the life you’ve always imagined”- and that’s exactly what we should all do!

  10. I think right now I am at a pretty good spot in my life and am relatively content. I am in my third year of college and recently switched to a major that I feel fits me better. I am absolutely in love with my school so I know that it was a good choice. I can’t wait for summer vacation to end! Now what normal college student says that? haha

  11. Thank you for this post, Tina. You have no idea how much I needed to read this this morning :). Your life is so thoroughly inspiring! I am not quite living the life I love yet but I think I’m headed in the right direction. Of course, it’s the “think” part that can be scary but who knows. Hopefully the best is yet to come. I’ll keep my fingers crossed ;).

  12. I really just think it is a state of mind. Are you healthy? Are you starving? Some people are never going to be happy! I’m glad that it was just a temporary thing for you. I’m one of those “go getters” too. If I’m not happy with something, I change it. And quickly. Life is too short to suffer through anything (well, except for triathlon that is).

    The hubby and I just moved across the ocean to a new place, and no matter where we end up going, I think we will be happy. We are naturally happy people though. I had a very rough childhood, and it has not only made me stronger, but it has made me thankful for the little things. I think that keeps me happy. I find humor in the darkest of situations. 😉

  13. After leaving the security of my office job, my fiance and I moved to Belize for an adventure. A death in the family brought us back home (to Dallas) and I’ve been focusing on making the changes in my life to be happy and fulfilled. It’s awesome! And I love having my fiance’s support.

  14. I would have to say that I’m not living the life I want. I’m still finishing up school (probably looking at more school- Masters) I’m going to a college I hate simply because it’s close to home, I’m living at home, I can’t work due to school… But honestly about 6 months ago I really had not plan and was just wollowing in it. Now I’m planning and scheeming, and making real progress towards living my perfect life. It’s nice to see that someone else has gone through this too and has come out happy and content!

  15. Tina, you are such an inspiration! I’ve spent the last few years in a city that I felt like I had no connection to, studying a major that I was not particular satisfied with, hundreds of miles away from my family and friends, and just stressed, angry, tired and completely unenthusiastic for life. It took the incredible decline of my health to realize I needed to make a change. So, last year I withdrew from the college I was attending, moved back home, and switched majors and am now planning to go to a college closer to my friends and family and studying something I’m passionate about. So I’m on the road towards living the life I want!

  16. I am not living the life I want. In fact, I am finding myself very depressed frequently. Despite working with great people, I feel very unfulfilled in my career, and I worry about the future constantly with all of the bad news. I worked very hard at starting a home business but it has failed in the bad economy. My condo has been on the market for over six months, priced at a huge loss, with no offers. I just feel very stagnant and unhappy, and I often stress eat, which always makes me feel worse! I know things could be worse for me, but sometimes I have a hard time recognizing that fact.

    However, I did just start a blog that I am very excited about and hope that it will provide me with a good distraction while I sort through what I want to do with my life. My plan is to give away one thing a day on the blog and try to “live lighter.” We’ll see where it takes me! 🙂 I have been very inspired by your and other bloggers’ success.

  17. That was a great recap post (the link) and I’m so happy that you have everything you want! It’s really inspiring. Can’t wait for your book to come out. I’m finding ways to get everything I want too, and it’s so empowering. Happy Wednesday!

  18. Tina, I read your blog most days at my job. Your post today regarding how much your life has changed in the past year has given me hope. I have been very depressed for the past year or so about my job, and in fact the entire “career path” that I went to school for ten years ago(legal/paralegal studies). For the first 18 years of my working life I worked outdoors with horses in just about every aspect of that business that one could perform. At 35, with a young child, I decided that I needed to “grow up” and get a “real job.” I have been through several legal/secretarial jobs in the past ten years and I have come to the realization that I absolutely detest working in an office. My current office, with its nonstop phones, no windows and 1/2 hour break for an 8 hour day has pushed me to become a miserable person to be around. As soon as I read your post about making a wish list for life, I made mine! I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up, but I know that I am a passionate, intelligent woman who deserves better! Thank you so much for your great ideas!

  19. I am currently living a life of transition. I may not be where I want to be, but I know that I am on the path to get there. Sometimes it can be difficult knowing that I’m not there yet, but having a solid plan is helping me since I know one day I will be where I want to be.

    Thank you for sharing your struggles and how you overcame them to get what you truly wanted. Successful stories of people able to turn their lives into the life they want are inspirational and yours is no exception!

  20. I feel like right now I’m EXACTLY where you were this time last year. So much in my life is going great, especially my personal life. I’m training for a half marathon, I’m getting married in the Spring and I have great, supportive friends and family. HOWEVER, I am feeling very lost professionally. I do not like my job and am having major difficulty finding another one. But worse than that…I just don’t even know what I want to do for a living. I, too, feel stifled by the 9-5 sitting at a desk job and just don’t know where to go from here. My fiance is fed up with hearing me complain about it..but I can’t get out of this rut! You are inspirational though, and help me realize that a lot can happen in a year if you just work hard at it.

  21. No. I’m 23 and still in college; still have two years to go actually. I made quite a few mistakes from when I was 18-20 and really screwed up things for myself. I’m back on the right path; however, now I see my twenties wasting away. When I was a girl, I thought I’d be out of school and married by now and I’m a bit sad that I haven’t really ‘accomplished’ anything solid at this point. Hopefully I’ll get there.

  22. I just want to say that while not entirely comfortable posting my response to your question it did give me a lot to think about! Thanks for that! 🙂 I am also so glad that you are in a much better place now. I am a long time reader and I remember what a terrible time you went through. I am so glad that you made changes to postively affect your outcome! 🙂

  23. yes i am! like you, i have made TONS of changes in the past year (quit big job, started own business, moved across the country) and am so happy. as a long time cnc reader – you, my dear, have been encouraging all the way along the journey. cheers and thanks.

  24. Great question today. This year has been a tough one for me. While there have been a lot of emotional downs recently, I try to keep my chin up and think of what I do have to be thankful for. I’m thankful for being able to get a college education, and although the rest of my life isn’t where I want it to be at the moment, you inspire me to keep pursuing my passions. Thank you.

  25. Very good question!

    In my marraige: it’s better than the life I always wanted
    In my spirit: God love me more than I could have desired
    In work… Meh. Teaching in a public high school leaves me feeling drained and sad and then I hate myself for it. I wish I could teach like a man…

  26. this makes me really happy to see!

    i too was in a pretty crappy place around a year ago (job/stress wise) and it is just amazing what a simple decision and some time will do with one’s mood and outlook on life!

    glad to see things are going so well for you, and hope they only get better!

  27. I’m so jealous of your courage! I really want to make a career change but I’m having a hard time finding the guts to do it! Your story is so inspirational though! Hopefully I can figure things out and make a change for the better in the near future!

  28. What a great question to ask – I feel like so many people my age, in their mid-twenties, are struggling with finding happiness in their lives. Whether it be in a career or relationship, it’s really a transitional age – you’ve been out of college for as long as you were in it and maybe you’re embarking on a real career after having worked in an industry for some time…or maybe you’re deciding what you’ve been doing isn’t the career that you want. At least that’s how I feel! Everything else in my life is so wonderful…but as far as my job, I just want to do something that I love doing, which I don’t think is too much to ask…just haven’t found it yet. 🙂

    I hope I am in the place that you are in one day very soon!

  29. I am pretty close! I just took another step to getting what I really want- I started school in March on this year! Hopefully I can find a job in teaching that will fill the void I feel professionally.

    At home, I am very happy. We have a lot of love, 2 wonderful doggies, and my boyfriend of 8 yrs is all I could ask for in a partner 🙂

    I’m so glad you are in your happy place!!

  30. Tina, I can’t say it enough – you are such an inspiration. Thank you for blogging about the “bad times” as well as sharing the steps you took to create “good times.” I’ve spent most of my twenties trying to *get* things – a pleasant apartment, an enjoyable job, physical fitness, a good relationship, enough money, nice “things” like clothes, trips, etc. It can be SO stressful and sometimes we/I don’t get it right the first time… or second, or third, or fourth. But, like you, I’ve learned to embrace the “yuck” and make meaningful changes to improve my life. Thanks for sharing!!!

  31. Tina, this is a great question which is near and dear to my heart at this moment. I have traveled a lot, but always lived in my home town, gone to school in the area etc.. and while there have been many good times, I always felt like there was more. After being unemployed for over a year and breaking up with a long term boyfriend (nearly 6 years) I decided it was time for a change. I’m 28 and am moving to either NYC or LA on my own next month, there are a few opprotunities in the work and I am SO excited 🙂 It will be hard I’m sure, but there is a saying “if you always do what you’ve always done, then you will always get what you always had”

  32. Not now, but in a week I will be! I currently live in a podunk town where I can’t find a job and I am bored and lonely. In a week, I am moving back where I belong, and am going to have a baby in about 12 weeks. I’m going to be living in a home I own, and having the culture I need in my life. I don’t have my career figured out, but with everything else in place, I feel so much better about my life!
    I am actually moving back to the Boston area! I emailed you a few weeks ago, I hope you got it. Just to introduce myself, and say I hope to meet you and other Boston bloggers once I’m back!

  33. I think right now, I am where you were last year. But I know I can make change that, it’s just a slow process. Seeing the way you came out of it is inspiring too. Thanks for sharing your story!

  34. Right now, things are not where I want them to be, and I’m struggling a bit, but I’m working on making changes that will get me to where I need to be. 🙂

  35. You are an inspiration. I’m sort of going through what you went through last year and it is encouraging to head so much has changed in one years time. Thanks for sharing your story.

  36. Oh that pup is so sweet!

    Life on my end is good. I have a wonderful boyfriend and will be celebrating 3 years together in September, he’s saving for my engagement ring, and we’ve been living together for over a year.

    My family is close by and I see them regularly and we get along great.

    My boyfriend and I just both got raises at our jobs.

    We have a new puppy that is the sweetest thing in the whole world.

    Can’t complain one bit! (Although some days I certainly try)

  37. I know that I WILL have a life that fulfills my hopes and dreams eventually, but right now I’ve got to be realistic. I’m just halfway through college. My parents are newly divorced. I don’t have a year-round job. My boyfriend is far away in another state.

    But I’m remaining positive because though I know this is a terribly hectic point in my life, I have so much to be thankful for: an amazingly supportive family, wonderful friends, an amazing education, awesome summer job, plus food, clothing, and shelter. It’s not the best, but it will get better 🙂

  38. I really appreciate this post topic today Tina; it’s definitely a highly relevant topic in my life these days and always uppermost in my mind. The short answer to your question is a resounding NO – I am not living my dream life. I’m really struggling, because a few years ago I worked very hard to affect change in my life and found myself actually living out all my dreams and feeling wonderfully happy and fulfilled for the first time ever. However, I was yanked out of that life due to a move across country that I was not into, and am now faced with the troubling knowledge that I *lost* my dream life. Things spiralled downward, and now I’m living about as far away from my dreams as possible. How does one deal with having, and then losing the dream? I feel stuck and depressed, as if I cycled back 10 years and am starting from scratch

  39. hi Tina!! whew, deep question! overall, I am happy and work very, very hard to keep a positive attitude and focus on all the beautiful things in my life (I am VERY blessed) what would i change you ask?? I would be in school!!! oh I want to go back to school sooo badly!!! however, I don’t have the money, and who knows when I will. I am hoping and praying that i don’t have to work in this factory for the rest of my life, but I fear if I don’t win the lottery thats what may happen. I’m almost 25, and have big dreams, just no means to make them come true, nor do I have anyone willing to help besides my wondeful fiance, however it just can’t happen at this time, and we’re not sure when it will. (heart drops to my toes) I will keep working my butt off (I work a full time job and a part time job, with NO days off EVER…GRRR.) until I can make my dreams come true, and when they finally do, it will have all been worth it!!!

  40. Thank you for inspiring me to actually write down a wish/goal list. You are an inspiration to all of us who are scared to move out of our current situations or jobs.

  41. This is great!! I’m glad you’re at a place where you have everything you want. You’re so right, some things we can’t change but most things we can, we just have to find the courage and motivation to do so! My full time job is something I would DEFINITELY change. It’s the only thing that I do that my heart is not in, yet it’s what takes up the majority of my time. I’m planning on changing that very soon. 😉

  42. I am sure 99.9% of the comments before mine say the same thing BUT you are truely an inspiration and I love your blog. I have been reading for a couple of years now. Keep up the good work.
    Good for you going out and doing what you wanted/needed to make your life YOURS and be happy!
    I am at a place right now where I wish I would have done that. I have a great job… boring but great. Set schedule, decent pay and benefits but I want so much more. I want to feel satisfied with my job and what I do for a living. My job isn’t the “career” I want. I am 6 months pregnant… I should have thought about a career change before now but it can still be done. I am so interested in health, fitness and nutrition. Any words of advice would be great.
    Keep up the good work girl!

  43. I think it was about a year ago I started reading your blog and I think your journey is really inspiring. Now I just need to figure out how to apply it to my own life! I have a love/hate relationship with my job (been here 4 years) and the stress is starting to take a serious toll. I’ve been thinking about getting another job but honestly have no idea what I would want to do. Money is tight – I had to downgrade my living situation and though I’ve made great strides in the past couple years in terms of fitness (maintaining a 50 pound weight loss) injuries and stress are starting to hinder me and the weight is creeping back up. I did meet with a nutritionist (Groupon had a coupon for OMBE and I remember you had recommended them at some point so I though I’d give nutritional counseling a shot) to provide some guidance on healthy, mindful eating versus my calorie counting and journaling ways which, though helpful when I started my weight loss journey, have now become a bit obsessive. So I supposed my answer is no, that I’m not living the life I wanted and at 26 I feel I should be a little further toward my goals, or at least have some firm goals in the first place. I can think of one I guess – 1 year from now I will be writing about how much I’ve accomplished since the year before…I’ll have to work out the details later 🙂

  44. I am not where I want to be.

    I am single and wanted to be married by now. I wanted my own home instead of living in a town I hate with my elderly mother. I work two jobs and still make harldy any money. And I dislike my second job – and really don’t care for the people I work for as they treat people poorly. I do at least like my day job – it just doesn’t pay well. So no, not where I would like to be. I just keep praying that good things will soon come to me.

    I would like to work one job I like and have it pay me well – and not rich, but able to afford a place to live, pay the bills, save, maybe take a vacation (which I can’t afford and haven’t been on one in years). I know I don’t need a husband, but it would be nice to have some love and someone to come home to. A partner would be awfully nice. And a new town. I left the city and moved out to the middle of nowhere because of money. It often comes down to that! I can’t afford to leave my job – and can’t afford a new place to live. So again, praying and holding on.

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