… before you need to give yourself a kick in the ass.
So, so true.
The past 24 hours have been really rough on me. I’ve experienced plenty of discomfort, sleepless nights, and urgent trips to the bathroom, but the frustration and helplessness are really what’s getting to me. My symptoms aren’t getting worse, but they’re not improving much either. I wake up every day hoping to feel better, but I don’t. I spent yesterday morning crying like a baby, but I eventually picked myself up and got it together. Sometimes, you just need to give yourself a kick in the ass.
Besides feeling like crap, not being able to eat what I want is driving me nuts. You guys know, I love to eat. I love iced coffee, cookies, salads, cheese, beer, which are all currently off-limits for me. Gluten is also off the table until I get better. I’m hungry all of the time, but I feel like I can’t eat anything because it’ll upset my stomach. I hate having zero control over my diet— and my body. It’s just making me nuts.
Bananas and I are great friends right now (they’re one of the few foods that jive with my intestines), so this morning’s breakfast was a banana smoothie made with a frozen banana and almond milk.
I’m trying my hardest to stay positive and keep things in perspective—I know it could be a lot worse—but it’s still tough. I feel like I am living someone else’s life because I can’t do any of things that I normally do. I used to be so healthy! It’s crazy to think that my big goal for the day is driving to Whole Foods to buy rice, bananas, and some gluten-free foods, so I have something to eat. I never would have thought twice about a trip to the grocery store, but now it’s a big deal to me.
A bunch of you guys have asked about my doctor, so I just wanted to give you a quick update. I still haven’t talked to him, but I’ve been in touch with his nurse several times in the past week. She’s responsive, helpful, and really nice. I talked to her yesterday and updated her on my symptoms, which haven’t improved, but I’ve only been taking the prescribed medications for a little over a week now. I guess these GI issues sometimes take awhile to get better, so I’m trying to be patient. I’m supposed to call the nurse on Friday with an update, so, hopefully, I have good news to share with her by then.
I’m sorry that CNC has suddenly turned into a whiny, Colitis-focused blog. I just want to be honest with you guys, and I figured sharing how I’m feeling is better than not blogging at all.
Question of the Day
When you feel frustrated and helpless, what to do you? Cry? Vent? Write? Sleep? Something else?