Music & Memories

Mastermind Weekend 1/16

Hey there!

I'm Tina

I’m the owner of Carrots ‘N’ Cake as well as a Certified Nutrition Coach and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner (FDN-P). I use macros and functional nutrition to help women find balance within their diets while achieving their body composition goals.

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This morning’s Body Pump class was a serious blast from the past. The instructor broke out Body Pump 53, which was released back in April 2005, but I still remembered all of the songs and some of the choreography. I also can’t believe I’ve been Body Pumping for so long!

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The music from Body Pump 53 brought back so many memories from that time in my life. Things were so different back then:

  • I worked full-time at Boston College in the Undergraduate Admissions Office
  • I was a part-time master’s student at Boston College in their Higher Education Administration program
  • I worked part-time at Mount Auburn Club, which is how I got hooked on Body Pump in the first place
  • I lived with six other roommates in a house in Brighton
  • Mal and I were in a long-distance relationship while he finished up school at UVM

I love how music can bring you back to a specific time in your life and help you remember things you may have forgotten. I also love how healing it can be.

When my ex passed away a couple of months ago, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I never lost anyone close to me, so the days after his death were a complete blur. At first, I didn’t want to remember our good times together or look at old photos of us. All of those memories were just too painful.

A few weeks later, I was driving by myself and a Dave Matthews Band song came on the radio. As soon as I heard it, I burst into tears. So many memories of my ex came rushing back, but, for once, it felt good to cry and remember. Later that day, I grabbed all of my Dave Matthews Band CDs from the truck of my car to listen to them on my drive home.

For the next several weeks, I listened to DMB every time I got into my car. My “DMB therapy,” as I’ve been calling it, has brought back so many wonderful memories of ex and our time together. Many of the memories are things that I hadn’t thought about in years. It’s still tough to deal with his death, but music has made it easier for me to sort through my emotions and come to terms with what happened.

Sorry if this part of my post seemed to come out of nowhere. I just started typing and it came out. I feel like I’m in a better place with my ex’s death, so if music helped me, maybe it’ll help others, too. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Workouts: Week of October 23

If you’re a long-time reader of CNC, you probably remember me posting my workouts each week. It helps to keep me on track and motivated, and, apparently, it helps you guys too because I keep getting requests to start doing it again. Your wish is my command!

  • Sunday: Off
  • Monday: 3-mile run + Body Pump
  • Tuesday: 3-mile run + 30 min. elliptical
  • Wednesday: Step aerobics
  • Thursday: 8-mile run
  • Friday: Off
  • Saturday: Off

Lunch

Today’s lunch was similar to last night’s dinner, but I added roasted potatoes and edamame to the mix. My salad also included another Vegetable Masala Burger (love them!), arugula, carrots, cucumber, and roasted pumpkin seeds.

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On the side, I had a toasted Bagel Thin with Chia Charger nut butter spread on top.

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After lunch, I enjoyed a couple of Chia Charger Xpresso bites. (I’m pretty sure I’m one chia seed away from turning into one.)

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I’m off to do a zillion errands, including figuring out why our heat won’t turn on. Let’s just say it was a chilly night in the Haupert house last night!

P.S. My favorite BIC Bands are on sale!

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68 Comments

  1. I don’t know what your relationship was like with your ex, but it must be such an odd thing to mourn, since you aren’t really supposed to relive your good times if you’re in a relationship with someone else. I’m glad though that you are at a better place with it. It’s amazing how music can be so healing. Totally unrelated, I love those masala burgers! Have you tried them with the TJ’s yellow curry sauce? It’s an amazing combo!

      1. @ Beth and @Tina, I understand what you are saying. I would find it confusing and difficult to mourn my ex’s death because I’ve been in a long term relationship with a guy who doesn’t like him. It sounds like it would be confusing and difficult for you too because you aren’t friends with your exs? However, I think Tina was friends with her ex which is great because when you break up with someone, if it wasn’t a hard breakup, you can still be friends because you still have the history and things in common that brought yall together in the first place. I think this is what you are both saying and I just thought I could mediate the situation (not that it was angry or anything) because you both have wonderful points. Tina, I’m sorry that your friend passed away. I think talking with his friends is the best medicine though because you remember the good and funny things that happened in his life. Also, I think time heals wounds, but there will always be a scar.

    1. I’m sorry but I completely disagree. Reliving good times, especially when someone has passed, is a good thing especially in the healing process when someone has died. “Since you aren’t really supposed to relive your good times if you’re in a relationship with someone else”. I think you misinterpreted the entire post.

      1. @Amanda: I just meant good times with your ex aren’t something you necessarily spend a lot time dwelling on, therefore it must be strange to mourn an ex, since that is part of the healing process. Didn’t mean it negatively at all!

        1. I understand what you’re saying, Beth! It sounds like you were trying to show sympathy for the unusual sort of mourning Tina was doing. How does someone mourn for an ex-lover? It sounds to me like you were recognizing the unusual position in which Tina found herself. How would that be misinterpreting the post?

  2. Music has such an ability to transport you in time. My “bf” (we were in 6th grade..obviously not a real relationship) passed away suddenly the summer before 7th grade and I remember driving up to Canada for a soccer tournament directly after his memorial service and Madonna’s “I’ll Remember” song playing constantly. Anytime I hear that song I’m instantly transported to that day. It’s sad, but in a healing, remembrance type of way.

  3. that looks like an awesome lunch! i love old releases. our new group power release came out a couple weeks ago, but up until then the teacher i go to on mondays was only doing old releases and it was great to hear some old favorite songs. in addition, i noticed the old releases seemed harder!

  4. Music is so powerful: it definitely helped me reminisce the good times with my dad after he passed away, and still does 3 years later. Music is uplifting in so many ways!

  5. I love listening to songs from my teenage/childhood years – they bring back so many memories! Even though there are some that I’d associate with not-so-great times, there are so many more good ones too. Might just have to queue some up on Pandora now!

  6. Music IS powerful. SO thank you for sharing your thoughts about it. It helps to write things out sometimes—even for the whole wide web to see 😉

    I am sorry for your loss–that is hard. But I am glad for you–that you found someone you can love even more!!

    Chia seeds are the BOMB!

  7. As a BC alum, I have to say I LOVE to hear about your BC memories 🙂

    Also? Those Chia Charger Xpresso bites AND the nut butter look incredible. I would happily turn into chia seed for them!

  8. I’m so sorry for your loss. Its great to hear that you are doing a lot better with it. Music always has so many memories associated with it. I love listening to old songs and remembering tons of things!

  9. I don’t know if you believe this sort of thing, but I sometimes wonder, when we hear a song or see a sight or what have you that reminds us of someone who has passed, if it’s their way of telling us that they’re OK.

    And, yes, songs ALWAYS invoke a certain time and place for me: just this morning I heard a song that came out in ’93, and suddenly I was driving on the Mass Pike in the snow, lol!

  10. Music is like smell, it brings back memories from certain places and times that mean something to you. I can’t hear Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven” without thinking about my cousin, who passed away when I was 17. The priest sung that song at her funeral and it still gives me chills.
    Loss is never easy, but we can only heal if we allow ourselves to feel the pain.

  11. I totally forgot that you got your master’s in Higher Ed. I got mine from Michigan in 2007 and am now getting my PhD in Higher Ed at the University of Virginia (writing my dissertation…urrrghghh). I got my Master’s in Teaching from BU in 2004-2005 and used to drive to student teach at Newton North H.S. everyday, right past BC! Hopefully after this year I can start to look for tenure-track positions back in the Bean. I miss it! Do you every think you’ll go back to higher ed?

  12. It’s funny how music can be linked so closely to memory! I love “Yeah!”. My friend and I listened to it for HOURS on our first band trip to Cedar Point in Ohio. I always think of that when hearing it. 🙂

  13. Very cool to think about where we were six years ago. I’m curious as to whether you liked the BC Master’s program in HE? And how did you go from admissions to Harvard? I think there’s a lot of higher ed folks in the blog world, so interesting to hear about people’s career pathways in the field.

  14. I know exactly what you mean. There are certain songs that remind me so much of my sister that I immediately tear up when I hear them. And that doesn’t always happen in private moments.

    I finally did a little research on chia seeds and I think I might have to try them now.

  15. I associate music with so many things, school dances, exes, study sessions, rocking out in the car with friends. Music can be pretty powerful – I was feeling kind of down today, but logged into Pandora an hour ago and I’m already feeling 10x better.
    I’m glad you’re coming to terms with what happened; hopefully writing about it has helped a bit as well. Posts like this really make me think, so thanks for sharing. I’m sure it isn’t easy 🙂

  16. I love listening to music and remembering something from it, the other day i lost all the texts from my phone including the first one my boyfriend ever sent me and was pretty devastated, however listening to “our” song brought back all the good memories and it didn’t seem so bad any more 🙂

  17. So sorry for your loss. Glad to hear you’re healing and doing better. I definitely associate music w/ certain people/places/memories…I think we all do.

    I LOVE Bodypump! I am tapering for Marine Corps (6 days) and trying to hold off from going but I miss it so! Can’t wait to pick back up after the marathon. Have you done 79 yet? It’s killer!

  18. I’ve had many crying in the car moments because a song came up that inspired a memory. I feel like letting yourself just experience those feelings is so important because otherwise the pain will just sit and you won’t be able to move forward and look back at the happy memories. It doesn’t matter what the relationship, losing someone who is/was/has ever been important to you is hard and confusing. I appreciate you opening up on here and sharing it with us!

  19. Really lovely post, Tina. Music is so emotive; it really can transport you to another time – instantly.

    One of my very close friends passed away when we were sophomores in high school. On the way to his funeral, REM’s “Everybody Hurts” came on the radio. I hadn’t previously paid much attention to the song, but it was just so fitting at this moment in time. I burst into tears, and wasn’t able to listen to this song for years. But time does heal (or at least nurture) all wounds…and now, I find this song to be deeply comforting and beautiful.

  20. I absolutely agree – music can take you back to so many different memories or a certain time period in your life. I always find it interesting when an older song comes on that I used to listen to all the time affects my emotions. I’m glad you are able to to cry and think of the memories with your ex. I believe it’s necessary in the mourning process. Death is never an easy think to grasp or accept, especially when it involves someone you loved and cared for.

  21. I love chia so I’m going to get some Chia Charger. Looks so yummy!
    Music is great therapy. I found it helped tremendously when my Grandmother died and also as I was going through chemo treatments. I’m truly sorry for your loss. It doesn’t get easier but we can become stronger.

  22. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Tina, I hope typing it out and sharing it was helpful for you. DMB holds a lot of fond memories for me as well, and it’s amazing how music can bring us right back.

  23. Every time I hear “Yeah” by Usher, I’m taken back to my sophomore/junior years of college. Lots and lots of games of beer pong were played with that song playing in the background.

  24. I just gave my dietician a bag of chia seeds and she made this delicious vanilla chia pudding! its super easy, just chia seeds, milk of choice (I chose almond) and a dash of vanilla extract. leave it in the fridge overnight and it puffs up to a pudding like consistency! ill be a chia seed too. it will be fun!

  25. Music always helps me to get through the hard times! But sometimes certain songs (ie, what I listened to after my Dad passed away) are still hard for me to listen to! It’s crazy how hearing an old song can bring back so many memories!

  26. Wow Tina, I had no idea about your past, but I guess why would I? Thank you for sharing about that! And may your healing continue strong. And I so agree that music is sooo powerful! So powerful that if we don’t watch it, it can totally brainwash us. So do smells in my opinion. (actually, smells are stronger for me in regards to having certain memories)

  27. I’m glad that you have found a way to heal, and I understand. My grandfather passed away years ago, but he loved the ocean and white herons. Its so strange, but every where we go near or far, I see white herons, even in the weirdest places. Its bird therapy for me….picturing him checking in on us through those beautiful creatures. I miss my family a lot in this overseas life, but those little things help a lot!

  28. Thanks for sharing, Tina. I hope you continue to find solace in remembering him through things like music. Love those veggie masala burgers & the salad combo you came up with! I have a couple in the freezer-good inspiration.

  29. How long ago did you work at Mt auburn club? One of my best friends worked there for a couple years (I think 2007-8 ish)

  30. Hi Tina,

    Ever since Seth’s death and befriending all his friends from after the childhood years when I grew up with Seth, I have been following your Blog. I just love it because I love eating, drinking and staying fit. I am actually a member of Equinox and go to the Franklin Street gym every day at lunch for one of their fantastic classes. I was happy to see you have been to Equinox in your recent posts.

    Anyway, I wanted to share a recipe with you, that I think would be fun for your blog. We can think of Seth when we have it because Seth is what led me to your blog; if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t know about Carrots ‘N’ Cake and I wouldn’t be posting this delightful recipe for fall on your FB page. There is a certain song my husband was playing around the time I learned of Seth’s passing and every time I think of it, I go right back to thinking of him and it is therapeutic. Remembering the fun times and thinking of Seth will allow us to step forward.

    http://www.rachaelraymag.com/Recipes/Dogfish-Head-Punkin-Ale-Float/Print
    Dogfish Head Punkin Ale Float Recipe – Every Day with Rachael Ray
    http://www.rachaelraymag.com
    Using an electric mixer with a whisk attachment, whip the cream, sugar and cinnamon until blended. Scoop the ice cream into 4 highball glasses and add half a bottle of beer to each glass. Top with the whipped cream and gingersnaps.

    1. Thank you for the recipe, Brooke!

      I’m so glad that you found CNC. If you ever want to meet up and reminisce about Seth, please let me know.

  31. I love that blogging can help release emotions and thoughts like this post did for you. Yesterday I ended up talking about my depression, which at first embarrassed me, but now I feel so at peace with my issues and not alone.

  32. First, I’m sorry for your loss.
    When my Dad passed away last year it was sudden and unexpected and I still don’t consider myself healed from that and it’s been 18 months now. Anytime I hear a song that was one of his favorites, I crank it up and remember him…and usually cry a little too. Grieving sucks and anything we can do to make ourselves feel better is a good thing.

    1. @Jen@FoodFamilyFitness:

      Hey Jen, my dad died very suddenly two years ago and I still miss him terribly. The smallest things bring him to mind. I’m finding that slowly over time, the intense pain is easing into a bittersweet nostalgia. I hope that is true for you as well. xo

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