They say that “sweat is your fat crying”.
If that’s the case, then my fat must be really, really sad. Like, just broke up with her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, which also just happens to be her birthday sad.
Basically, I’m really sweaty.
But I’m owning it.
And by “owning it”, I mean covering my perspiring body in clothes that are functional, flattering and most importantly, fabulous! Because let’s be honest, while we work out to feel good and stay healthy, we also work out to look good. So why can’t we look good while we work out?
No, I’m not talking about a fresh blowout, six pounds of foundation and false eyelashes. (I’ve tried it, and it’s not pretty. The false eyelashes will obstruct your vision and cause you to fall off a stationary bike.)
And yes, falling of a stationary bicycle during spinning class is absolutely possible.
What I’m trying to say is that sweat is no longer just a bodily function — it’s also a fashion statement.
Yup, you read me right. Sweat is the new black.
Still not convinced? Follow my five rules for flawless fitness fashion and you’ll see that turning “hot mess” into “hot damn!” is even easier than doing a push up on your knees!
Rule 1: Control you’re weave
Long or short, curly or straight, real or fake…nothing spoils a good workout like hair all up in your grill. Except perhaps a headband that slips, or even worse, hurts. I’ve spent many a gym session brushing wet bangs from my face and adjusting my hair accessories, which is not cute. That time could be much better spent doing crunches. Or, you know, flexing my glutes while looking in the mirror.
But not really.
After years of trial and error, I’ve found Violet Love Headbands to be my favorite solution for an unruly mane. They’re cute, comfy, and won’t even think about slipping.
I also love sporting a classic baseball cap while exercising outdoors, or finding a fun strip of fabric to use as a bandanna/headband.
But my favorite look? The fashion-forward sombrero, obviously.
No comment as to whether my Nalgene bottle contains water or a tequila.
Don’t judge me.
2. Quality matters
I’m not saying you have to drop a hundred bucks on a pair of yoga pants at Lululemon. (Although I fully support the purchase of these magical yuppie pants if it’s in your budget.)
I’m simply recommending you purchase something slightly more substantial than, say…oh I don’t know…a pair of eight dollar “workout leggings” from the clearance rack.
This is totally hypothetical, by the way.
I mean…it could be really humiliating if you….um…you know…showed up to teach a boot camp session and then had three students mention (after class) that you’re bargain pants were completely see-through, or something.
Again, I’m speaking hypothetically, people.
This news would be particularly devastating once you remembered your unfortunate choice to ditch the panties as your new devil leggings claimed to have “built-in” briefs.
Alright, alright…I confess that this may have happened to a really good friend of mine.
A really good friend named “me”.
The moral of the story? Don’t skimp on the essentials. Invest in quality pieces you love. Quality pieces that are fun to wear. Quality pieces that won’t put your goodies on display in front of a co-ed boot camp class.
Let me learn this lesson the hard way so you don’t have to.
3. Get some new shoes.
Did you know the average pair of running shoes is only good for 300-400 miles? Maybe you don’t run, but if you’re engaging in high impact cardio, they can quit on you just as fast. Wearing shoes that are past their prime may even result in pain and injury, so don’t do it.
Unless you enjoy hobbling around in orthopedic shoes, of course.
(Even if you do enjoy that…please don’t do it. It’s so not cute.)
And yes, I just gave you permission to go shoe shopping.
4. Don’t try too hard.
I know, I know…this is coming from the girl who tried to make friends by wearing makeup to the gym.
Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look cute while workin’ on your fitness. That’s the entire idea behind this post. In fact, many health experts will tell you that buying new gear or sporting a sassy piece of clothing will actually motivate you to work out harder.
(Again, permission to go shopping. What can I say? I’m a giver.)
But let’s keep it real, ladies. If you’re pre-gym routine involves a curling iron, a Kardashian-themed inspiration board, or more than six square inches of sequins, you’re walking the fine line between queen of the gym and…well…drag queen.
Yes, I went there.
Also? Hair extensions are totally prohibited. Just trust me on that one. (Four words: tangled in the elliptical.)
5. Have fun with it!
Contrary to what many people believe, breaking a sweat is actually kind of…dare I say it…enjoyable. So why wouldn’t you wear fun clothes during your workouts?
Yes, “fun” is a subjective word. For some it might mean a colorful tank top and matching headband, while others might choose a neon colored stopwatch or trendy pair of Nikes. Big or small, subtle or dramatic, practical or ridiculous, choose something that brings you joy. Something that is unique. Something that is a treat to wear. Something that absolutely screams “you”.
Something that probably doesn’t look like this.
What can I say? I have a really “fun” personality.
And by fun I mean crazy.
I promise there is a perfectly good explanation for this ensemble. Plus, everyone knows you burn way more calories when you exercise in a tutu.
Well…now everyone knows.
That’s it! My five fool-proof tips for looking swanky while you sweat.
And yes, I still consider our sweat to be our fat crying.
But if you follow these tips, it will be crying tears of joy — joy because you look so incredibly fierce and fabulous.
Unless you’ve chosen to wear a tutu, that is.
Then the fat is just crying tears of shame and regret.
Trust me, I would know.
Check out Katrina’s blog at http://www.sotaissexy.com/