• How Do You Deal with Judgmental Comments?

    July 20, 2011

    Hi, friends! Happy Hump Day! 8-)

    Breakfast

    I woke up craving fruit juice this morning. Is that weird? We didn’t have any in the house so I went with the next best thing: fresh fruit. For breakfast, I enjoyed a nectarine, plum, a piece of toast with sunflower butter spread on top, and, of course, a glass of iced coffee with soy milk.

    IMG_0001 (500x375)

    Workout

    After yesterday’s epic 7-mile run in New York City, I woke up with tired legs this morning, but my marathon training plan called for 4 miles. I knew once I got myself out the door and running, I’d feel fine, so I forced myself to put on my workout gear and get going. Just do it, baby.

    I started out slow with a mile warm-up and then stopped and stretched on the side of the road. I felt tight and lazy, so I dillydallied and enjoyed the scenery for a little bit before starting to run again.

    IMG_0373 (500x373)

    I finished my four miles at a much slower pace than usual, but I got it done and felt pretty good doing it. Sometimes, that’s all that matters to me.

    Feel Great Weight

    My blog’s tag line is “sharing my life one bite at a time,” so I’m not surprised when readers make assumptions about my food and exercise habits. Putting myself out there on the Internet allows others to judge me more than the average person; it’s all part of the job. It used to bother me when people commented on my choices, but I’ve learned how to deal with them, which has ultimately made me a healthier (and stronger) person. Here are a few tricks I use to stay positive in the face of negative food judgments.

    4 Ways to Brush Off Judgmental Food Comments

    Question of the Day

    How do you deal with judgmental comments when it comes to your health and lifestyle choices? Do you brush them off or take them to heart? Do they bring you down or do they make you a stronger, healthier person?

    P.S. In case you missed it, check out my marathon fueling Q & A!

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    { 132 comments… read them below or add one }

    Shannon @ A Pinch of Ginger July 20, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    It’s funny bc I just wanted to write about this last night. I had a “friend” comment on her blog how she isn’t one of us and can’t stand reading about everything I ingest. I read it as jealous and if you have a problem with a post- you don’t HAVE to read on!

    Reply

    Kim Foster MD July 20, 2011 at 6:03 pm

    I think it’s important to remember this: when somebody is criticizing you or judging you, there’s a good chance those statements are coming from an unhappy place in that person. Perhaps something you’ve done (or written or spoken about) has tweaked a sense of guilt or shame or anxiety in THEM. Constructive criticism can be helpful, and you shouldn’t always discount the opinions of people you trust and value…however, if someone just seems bent on being snarky and negative, send them a little mental love & sympathy because obviously they’ve got some crap going on inside that they need to deal with.

    Reply

    Amanda (tomboy that wears makeup) July 20, 2011 at 7:06 pm

    Great comments ladies. I know, hurtful comments are hard. I try not to focus on them and focus on all the supportive people in my life. People who right mean things obviously aren’t happy with themselves. I wish them well…
    You gotta just keep being yourself and doing what you do!

    Reply

    Khushboo July 20, 2011 at 7:15 pm

    I take judgement as a form of flattery…that I’m so important for people to go out of their way to comment about how I behave, whether or not it’s positive.

    Reply

    Shayla @ The Good Life July 20, 2011 at 7:20 pm

    This post came at such an ironic time! This afternoon I was asked by a male coworker if I wanted anything at our local deli and before I could answer a lady coworker snidely said “no she only eats bags of lettuce, that’s how she stays so skinny!” I couldn’t believe my ears and I couldn’t help but feel hurt. Why do people feel the need to make rude comments like that to people that want to be healthy??!! I try to not take it to heart, move on from it, and remember that I will have this body forever and it’s my decision to fuel it with healthy, nutritious foods.

    Reply

    Pure2Raw Twins July 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm

    Getting any rude or judgmental comment is never fun. We try to brush them off but it is hard. We keep telling ourselves that they do not really know us and they are just being mean. And that we are doing everything we can to be healthy for ourselves, no one else.

    Reply

    Molly @ RDexposed July 20, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    Judgemental comments? Apparently being a RD gives the public free reign to ask me anything and tell me anything-including judgement. It comes with the territory.

    Reply

    Chelsea @ One Healthy Munchkin July 20, 2011 at 8:24 pm

    I get a lot of comments from my friends and family about how my meals always look so healthy. Usually I take that as a compliment! But I hate it when people assume that I avoid all “unhealthy” foods, especially since I actually worked so hard to get past that restrictive mindset!

    Reply

    Melanie July 20, 2011 at 8:59 pm

    I love your ways to brush off negative comments. I too get comments about my lifestyle. I am a runner and a teacher who has 15 minutes to eat lunch everyday. I love my daily PBJ’s no matter what anyone has to say about it. =) I think some adults have really forgotten how good a PBJ can be. Put some freshly sliced strawberries on there and oh baby it is good.

    Reply

    Emily @ Comfortable Home Life July 20, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Haters gonna hate! I see negative comments as a chance to educate. Usually the commenter has the wrong idea about something so letting them know the truth may help. Other times, there’s no hope. People can be so mean sometimes!

    Reply

    Rachel Wilkerson July 20, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    I like your tip about accepting it as constructive criticism. I always hear negative people out and consider their comments.

    I think it comes down to confidence, really. People who aren’t confident in their choices are often a target for criticism because judgy types sense that and attack. I feel like when I can confidently say, “This is my lifestyle. I’m not interested in debating whether it’s right or wrong. I know it’s right or else I wouldn’t do it”..the judgment/comments just totally decrease.

    Reply

    Erin @ Naturally Addicted July 20, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    Great post! I used to take it to heart, but I am not finally realizing that people often throw out judgmental comments when they don’t know any better or when something in their own life or their own “healthy living” isn’t right. I just try to take comments one step at a time and realize everyone is different!

    Reply

    Lindsay July 20, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    I LOVE that you posted this, because I had my first dose of this yesturday! I haven’t blogged for long, and my blogs are about our life overseas…but even being an expat spouse has drawbacks! I worked really hard to put a post out there that captured how thankful I was to be here, but also how challenging it is to be so far away and have to start all over with your life, professionally and emotionally! I had a comment that made me feel like I was complaining…and I worked hard to avoid that!! On second inspection, I think the reader was just trying to be supportive, and it was my own insecurities that were messing it up. I’m going to work on your tips…and just try to continue being ME:)

    Reply

    Kristen @ The Red Velvet Life July 21, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Just read your article and I think it’s great! I like your last point about remembering to think about where people are coming from when they make judgmental comments — it’s often out of curiosity. Plus, the internet can sometimes provide a seemingly “safe” way of criticizing others — which for some reason, makes some people feel better about themselves, because they’re really just projecting and are very critical of themselves.

    Reply

    JB July 21, 2011 at 3:56 am

    I try to do the 95rule. 95% of the time a judgmental comment is about them. Something going on with their life. However, 5% of the time it is actually about me. I think that it is important to reflect for a second on what the comment is and if it is appropriate. Sometimes when someone says something judgmental, we hear it as judgmental but it was not necessarily meant as judgmental. It could have been a worried about you comment, a trying to warn you comment – but I am not always in the place to hear those things for what they were trying to say.

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    diana@mymarblerye July 21, 2011 at 8:48 am

    you handle negative comments gracefully. Honestly you don’t really get THAT many negative comments compared to another big blogger….you should feel loved?! Hahah :)

    Reply

    EmilyK July 23, 2011 at 12:14 am

    Man, I am way too sensitive when people comment on my healthy eating. It is something I’m working on… to not get so worked up about comments

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    Caitlin August 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Thank you for posting about this. There is SUCH a double standard. Why is it okay/socially acceptable to comment on the healthy foods that I choose for myself, yet if I were to comment on the unhealthy diets and lifestyle of other people I would be considered rude?? I don’t see the difference. I try my best to just understand that the people who comment negatively don’t intend for their comments to seem so judgmental but it can be hard sometimes :/

    Reply

    グッチ 指輪 August 31, 2014 at 11:46 pm

    パブリッククラス退屈さて、シャネル チークこの話は、一般的に公衆のコースに行くように、シャネル
    バッグ 新作個人的なチャットの罰金があり、プラダ
    ポーチたくさんの忙しいクラスが存在し、アグ
    スリッポン学校に問い合わせてくださいする可能性が低い

    Reply

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